A Voice Heard Throughout the World

Happiness...it took me almost two years to find a sense of peace and happiness after my diagnosis. When you are told that you are positive it feels as if the world comes to a complete and utter halt, everything starts moving in slow motion. For me, it was a blur of tests, information, fear, sadness, anger, and nights of uncontrollable crying. You know what though, that was and is OKAY!

I went through the "positive grieving" backwards. I threw myself into work, I went full force into what I needed to do to be healthy, and then I was so angry and disgusted that I couldn't even look at myself in a reflection, let alone an actual mirror. My boyfriend gave me HIV.  I couldn't stand the sight of him. I told one person--my boss, and he was the only one that I didn't feel was disgusted when I was around.

Then it was sadness and fear I felt. Those days were black. I felt like I couldn't connect with anyone, my only haven was ARcare-they understood.

I couldn't live there though, I couldn't camp out in Dr. Moore's front yard just because I felt alone. I HAD to find a way to my peace and happiness on my own. I couldn't live in red and black forever. I had to make "weird" my new normal. I started reading more, started asking questions. I recently worked on a fundraiser for the Magic Johnson foundation, and when I started doing that, I started to find my inner peace. I can work and still make a difference in the HIV community. That void, that hole is beginning to go away. It takes time, and again that is OKAY!

...together we can have a voice that can be heard throughout the world.


The people I have chosen to open up about my status to are wonderful, especially my mom. I don't think I could have moved forward without my support system. What I found that gives me the most happiness is that I am opening myself up to a whole new network of people---people like me.

There is no better feeling than being around strong, intelligent, healthy people that are HIV-positive. It gives me hope.


We should be proud to be positive, because together we can have a voice that can be heard throughout the world. I am a strong, intelligent, determined, HEALTHY, woman. Guess what? I happen to have HIV, and that makes me stronger, this is who I am. My weird became my normal and I embrace it. Today I am empowered by my status and that fills me with happiness and joy.

-Robin, 5 years

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